In Panic She Smiles

So true story, the weather around here's been really bad..I mean REALLY BAD, as in houses have literally been destroyed, people are missing, one confirmed dead in a few towns over...it's been chaos and then I find out my Grandmother's house had been hit by a tornado too! Her windows all being smashed out and a tree knocked over in her front yard, the cieling leaking and her and her dog hiding out in the bathroom where there are no windows.. The police weren't letting anyone on the roads do to disconnected powerlines and fallen trees, so we couldnt get my grandmother, her phone kept cutting out too so we could hardly reach her, everyone's nervous and me ..I have HORRIBLE nerves, it takes a lot to get me nervous and scared but when I do I FREAKOUT! SO I'm standing around and pacing the room, shaking cause I'm scared and really I can't do ANYTHING, nothing I can do will help the situation so I think "I've got to get my mind off this,..." over and over again until I glanced over at our table, on the table was a pile of paper and an old pencil. THAT WILL WORK! So I quickly grabbed it and started nervously jotting away at it, I don't even know what I'm drawing, I start with an eye, I go over it a few times, it needs another eye..I make another eye, it needs hair..I draw hair..so on so forth "It needs this , that doesn't feel right" and soon I'm done, I kinda stop and stare, my body still trembling from my anxiety, and there is this thing before me...


For some reason, this simple picture ends up making me smile. It's not because it's brilliantly done, it's not cause it's the best or even that great. It's the fact that it came about on it's own, I just followed my panic'ed feelings and here's what I get! It makes me think, if I can harness my FEAR into a picture like this, what else can be harnessed for something much bigger? fear, anger, love, hope, joy, SOUL. Maybe that's nothing new to any body and I'm just being a broken record now..but to me it finally clicks, I've heard it before but it clicks, and maybe it's just a dumb picture to everyone else..whatEverrr cause it's something to ME and that matters a bit right? ^ ^

And as I was typing this I get word that they got my grandmother and she's currently crossing the bridge into town (aka a lot closer too us) so we WIN!